great, kieran is going psycho. i sincerely think he is have a breakdown. slamming stuff around, screaming, crying. He never cries. Apparently he just feel like everything is just stacking up on him, each little thing would be ok if it were on its own, but he just feels buried by it, i can empathies. he's a mess,It's just not good. No doubt he's feeling shit but it just feels like i cannot escape my own shitness. maybe it would help if we shared our shitty feelings. but maybe not. but basically two (no doubt failed) exams at school and a screaming brother at home dont help my own self esteem; and make me feel like i can't find anywhere to escape to. so another set of bleeding cuts on my wrist. and i feel seriously selfish in doing those cuts, which really doesnt make me feel great either. hurray for self pity. :(